17 years old and totally reckless I moved to Hawaii after a heart-wrenching breakup, a breakup from a guy who had no idea who I really was… still… I dedicated countless Jackson Browne songs to him, oh… and tears, lots and lots of tears.  Along with the endless sad song replays was a steady stream of drinking… Beer, I loved beer, I loved the way the AIR sounded as I screwed off the cap… ChhhK! I loved the way the bubbles felt on my tongue, the way my body slowly dissolved, the way it made me feel strong, brave, and bullet-proof.

I moved to Hawaii to live with my uncle, and his wife.  They were so together and responsible and adult, they had jobs, paid bills, spent their days off surfing and socializing, owned a home, a car, two cars actually and I was allowed to drive the VW Bug, to look for work, and be responsible, and pay my bills, and I did eventually get a job, which didn’t last long, I will only say that it was not my shiniest moment.  I also drove the VW Bug to places other than “looking for a job”, like to new friends houses!  One night while driving around with a “new” friend and our pal “Beer”, we found ourselves in a pineapple field, I put my foot to the gas peddle and began to pick up speed through this field of fruit, it was pitch black outside, the scenery, what I could see of it, was a blur in my perifial vision and I felt FREE, blindingly free.  I don’t recall now what my companion was doing or saying, maybe just clinging on for dear life but suddenly I stopped the car, I don’t know why I stopped the car, I had no reason for stopping the car but I did.  Once I turned the key to the Non-running position we both got out of the car, we walked a few feet from the car and we were both completely silent, after a few moments we noticed a sound in the background, a low rumbling, rhythmic sound that I could actually feel in my body…. that was weird I thought, I turned and walked a few feet toward the sound and suddenly realized we had come within 50 feet of a sheer cliff, the sound we were hearing was the sound of the waves beating against the rocky wall 200 feet below.  Do I believe in Angels?  Why yes I do, without a doubt I do and I think my friend does too!


I have a unique family (I know everybody does) each member it’s own little island of weirdness, myself included.  When I was 10 years old I found myself asking Jesus to save me while sitting in the front seat of Grandpa Sam’s Dodge Dart.  Grandpa was a Southern Baptist, (I was raised non-religious) and there was always an assortment of paraphernalia on the subject of saving your soul neatly arranged in the glove box.  My brother and sister and I often made the long drive to our mountain cabin with my Grandpa, and one afternoon I must of been pretty bored because I started pouring over all the “God Fearing” literature.  I had worked myself into such a panic that I decided to ask Jesus into my heart, right then and there, as per the instructions.  Now, I am not a “religious” person still, but I do believe in divinity, and that day, for the first time, I felt something stir within me.